My New Greatest Fear

Last night, I started seeing a funny streak in my vision and my heart started thundering because I know what that streak means-- Migraine.

I've gotten Migraine headaches since I was about 15 years old. I remember the first one that crossed my path. I was sitting in church when half of my head started hurting, my left eye felt like it would pop out of my head, and I was experiencing relentless waves of nausea.

I must have looked pretty bad, because my mom took me home from church and told me to stay in her bed. (Side note-- that was always the place we went when we were sick-- it was probably easiest for Mom to take care of us there. It was years -- think recently-- that I stopped wanting to get into my parents' bed when I was sick.)

Sorry, digressing again. I remember laying there, thinking that I was dying, then wishing I would, until I finally threw up and felt slightly better.

My mom had suffered from Migraine head aches for years and it wasn't until I had that first one that I really understood how bad they actually are.

I've tried various medicines for them, but nothing seems to work any better than 4 Advil and a Coke. So, as soon as I started seeing the aura last night, I popped open my first Dr. Pepper in quite a while and hoped that the ibuprofen/caffeine combo would work before the Migraine really took hold. Wishful thinking.

Before long, light seemed to pierce my eyes and sounds seemed 10 times louder than usual. Any movement made my stomach swirl and pretty soon I was seriously regretting the enchiladas I made for dinner. My blood pressure dropped and my arms felt weak and I knew that I was in for a long night.

Anymore, these headaches come like clockwork on a monthly basis. They seem to be getting more intense, until it's getting to the point that my palms sweat every time I realize that it's getting to be that time.

Of all the kinds of pain I've suffered in my lifetime, only gall bladder and labor top this. I'd take tooth aches, broken bones, back pains, strains, sprains, cuts and bruises all over these dumb head aches. Luckily, they usually only last 4-8 hours and then just leave me with what I call a "hangover", although I have no experience with a real one of those.

Some people are scared of spiders. Some people are scared of heights. My greatest fear is now Migraine head aches. (Oh yeah, and don't forget singing in public. Or snakes.)

Next time, I'm going to ask my doctor for a huge dose of medicine that will just knock me out and I'm going to take it as soon as I start seeing things. Hopefully, I'll never know if the headache even hits. Unless I wake up in a pool of puke, that is...