What Goes On In Doug's Head?

I know, I'm always posting about Doug. If you lived with a five year old as interesting as this kid, you would too.

Two funny things he's said in the last few days:

First. Doug has been telling me thanks for everything lately. "Thanks for fixing me my favorite cereal, Mommy." "Thanks for letting me have zucchini casserole for dinner, Mom." (What? I know-- just one other way Doug is wonderful-- he LOVES vegetables.)

We're driving along and I tell him, "Thanks for noticing all of the things I do for you and telling me thanks, Doug. I like that."

Doug replies, "I was wondering how long it would take you to notice that I've improved."


Second. This will embarrass him if he ever reads this. He wet the bed last night. I was thinking that it was some deep psychological reaction to kindergarten or something. When I asked him in the morning what had happened, he told me that he'd had a dream that he was in a swimming pool and he really had to pee. (That was probably due to the huge drink he had before bed.) He got out and went to the bathroom-- and then woke up wet.

I laughed and told him that happens sometimes. He says,

"Dream-Doug is luckier than me."

Me: "Why is that, Doug?"
Doug: "Because he made it to the toilet."

I laughed so hard that I almost didn't make it there myself.

How in the world am I supposed to share this kid with school for half a day?