Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Another Reason It Might Be Better To Be A Man

I'm in a crazy place right now-- hence the lack of good new blog posts. Between my normal mom stuff (basketball, swimming, piano, PTA, homework, house-- you know the drill), Relief Society, and trying to fill in at work (hooray-- our new staff starts tomorrow!), I've been running.

I've been doing all right with it, I thought, except that I find myself getting a little emotional and ragged come evening.

Take last night.

I found out that one of the sisters in our ward is upset with me for something that she thinks that I did. It's not really a big deal-- in trying to help someone else, I unknowingly stepped on her toes.

When I got home from a meeting and started talking to Layne, I fell apart. I told him that I wanted to move somewhere that no one knew me. He said no-- he's never moving. I told him that I was just going to quit going to church. I wanted to be THAT family. You know the one that is active then suddenly stops coming to church and no one ever really knows why?

He laughed at that too. I told him my sad tale and he just looked at me like,

"You've got to be kidding me."

He absolutely could not understand why I would give a rat's arse whether someone I don't know very well likes me or not-- let alone why it CRUSHED my feelings.

It was so easy in my tired state to revert to my junior high self and let all of that self-pity, jealously, resentment and illogical assumptions take over. All the while, Layne is sitting there, trying to be supportive, but really just thinking,

"Who is this bag-of-crazy and what has she done with my wife?"

I went to sleep and woke up feeling much better and laughed at myself for being such a nut-job. It got me thinking, though, how much easier it would be to be a man and have my major problem in life be that I was horny all of the time.

If women are from Venus and all of that, I'm thinking that Mars might be an easier place to live.

They sure as heck wouldn't need as much Kleenex there...

Friday, October 23, 2009

Crazy Hair Day

Today was one of my kids' favorite days of school-- Crazy Hair Day (CHD). It's part of ribbon week and what it has to do with saying no to drugs, I'll never know. But, the kids love it, so I guess it's all good. (I don't know how the teachers feel-- probably not so much love from them...)

Doug has waited for years to get to go to school on CHD. He made sure that I had plenty of gel and red spray.

Here's our creation. We called him FireHead.
Here's Em. Cheerleader gone wrong.

Mike liked FireHead so much that he wanted to do it too. I couldn't get a very good picture of him, though because we had one of those right-before-school-starts drama moments where someone dropped something on his toe, he started bawling like a baby, I told him to suck it up and go to school, that made him madder-- you all know the drill.
I need to go wash it out. I am dreading that because just washing the extra off my hands this morning turned the sink pink.
I'm about to get a pink tub.
Don't know if I like pink that much...


Tuesday, October 20, 2009

What a Relief!

For the first time in many moons, I put my bike on the trainer. (a.k.a. torture device.) I got things all set up and then spent a very long 30 minutes sweating and pedaling my guts out.

(Why is it that 30 minutes on my bike outside seems like nothing, but inside it's an eternity?)

Anyway, as I came to the end of my 10 miles, I noticed myself counting along with the mile counter.

9.75

9.8

9.95

9.96

9.97

9.9

And then, finally, RELIEF. I was so happy to see that 10.0 flash on the screen.

It got me thinking about other things that give me such great feelings of relief. Here's a random list:

*Making it to the bathroom-- just in time.
*When you think that you've overslept, panic, then see that you still have a couple of hours left to sleep.
*Taking off uncomfortable shoes or tight jeans after long day.
*Realizing that you still have money left in your account after all of the bills are paid.
*Thinking that you've run out of Diet Coke and then finding one in the back of the fridge.
*When the car inspection guy comes out and tells you that you don't need to have anything done to pass inspection.
*Same with the dentist.
*When the laundry is washed, folded and put away before the boys can get it and have a clothes-war.
*Getting in bed after a hectic day and realizing that everything got done.
*When your medicine kicks in to take the edge off of a killer migraine.
*When you find your child in the next aisle at Walmart-- just as you were ready to call for a Code Adam.

Anyone else want to add to my list? Or are you just RELIEVED that my post is over? :-)

Sunday, October 18, 2009

I'm Number One

Those in my fantasy football league probably think that this post is about the fact that my fantasy team has scored 149 points today-- more than anyone else AND I still have two good players left to go tomorrow night. (We won't talk about the fact that before today, I have lost ALL 5 games.)

No, this post is not about that.

In fact, when I say that I'm Number One, I don't mean it as "I'm the best."

I mean it in the Star Trek definition.

As in Captain Picard saying to Commander Ryker, "You have the bridge, Number One."

You see, I am the first counselor in the Relief Society Presidency. It is quite honestly, more responsibility than I am comfortable with. However, as our Fearless Chief has been out of town since Wednesday (and won't be back for 3 more days), I have decided that being Number One is definitely better than being Commander-In-Chief.

What I've learned about myself during the last week is that I am a better right-hand-woman than I am the leader.

I don't like it that as things have gone wrong this week, people keep calling and asking me what to do. Don't they remember that I am the bike-riding goof-off whose job in this presidency is to keep everyone from taking things too seriously?

I am all too happy to be a buck-passer. Please go away, Buck-- whatever the heck you are-- I'm not the place where you should stop. I shouldn't be in charge.

Of anything.

Ever.

I'm happy to be a worker bee. I'm happy to provide "counsel" as a good counselor should do.

Just stop asking me to make decisions.

I can barely pick a breakfast cereal in the morning.

How many days until Wednesday?

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Doug 1, Mom 0

Monday morning, I got on my bike for the first time in 10 days. It was a bit chilly, but otherwise a beautiful day.

Joy and I decided to ride down toward Lakeside in Orem. We were having a great ride, and I had just finished telling Joy how much I really like my new cycling knee warmers-- keeps your legs warm without having to wear tights.

We were riding on the trail that goes along the Lindon marina on Utah lake. Up ahead, I could see a scruffy looking guy with two dogs. Off leashes.

That always spells T-R-O-U-B-L-E.

The dogs were about 50 yards up ahead of him. There was no way off of the trail and he made no motion to call the dogs in. I knew it was a bad plan to get between him and the dogs, but there was no other option. I slowed down a little, so that if the dog jumped out in front of me, I wouldn't hit him at 20 mph.

That's when the stupid dog charged me and actually BIT MY LEG.

Worse than that, he ripped a hole in my awesome knee warmers!!!

I finally got my foot unclipped and gave the dog a taste of carbon sole, steel cleated cycling shoe right in the kisser.

Then I gave the scruffy guy a HUGE piece of my mind. (As if I had any to spare.)

That's just background to the funny part of my story.

I was mad all day long. While Doug played Wii, I was sitting on the couch, talking on the phone to two of my friends, telling them about the "Dumb A$$ with the dogs".

After I hung up the second time, Doug looked at me, turned off the Wii, sat down in front of me and very seriously said,

"Mom, you shouldn't call that guy a dumb a$$ you know."

Somewhat shocked, I said, "Doug, you're right. I'm sorry. I didn't know that you even knew that it was a bad word."

To which he replied,

"I'm five. I'm not stupid."

Ouch.

My reply:

"You're right again. I'm sorry. I didn't know that you were listening." (In my defense, usually he's so engrossed in his Wii games that Santa Clause could come into the room and he'd only notice enough to ask him to move so that he could see the t.v.)

Doug's answer to that,

"What do you think these things on the side of my head are, Mom? I hear everything."

When am I going to learn? And what is my life going to be like when this kid is a teen-ager?

One thing's certain-- life's never boring when Doug's around!

Monday, October 12, 2009

New York Debrief

I meant to blog from New York.

I really did.

Just like I meant to finish a spreadsheet for work.

Instead, I played the whole time. It was great!

What I loved about New York was that there was not only high quality freak watching to be done, but also some really nice people too.


Here's me on Times Square. This was just outside of our hotel-- the Marriott Marquis.
Here was the first show that we saw-- I was not as excited to see this one, but I ended up loving it. Great acting and cool effects.

Here's inside the Lion King theater-- I think I could go to jail for taking this picture. We were on the 13th row-- it was fantastic! I loved all of the puppets in this one, but the acting wasn't as good as Mary Poppins.


Here's my dessert from the first night. We ate at The View on Times Square-- a rotating restaurant on the 48th floor of the Marriott. A little disconcerting to be in constant motion, but very cool. This is passionfruit truffle with pomegranate ice cream. Almost too pretty to eat!



Here's my #1 most-important-place-to-visit-- The American Girl Doll Store. It was awesome! The only bummer was that Em wasn't there to see it with me.




This pic is inside the bathroom stall at the AG store. This is a doll holder so that your doll doesn't fall in the john. This place has a doll-only hair salon, a restaurant with doll chairs next to yours, and a photo studio for you and your doll to get a pic done. Too cool.
Here's me at Rockefeller Center. This was one of my favorite places-- maybe because I've seen it on the Today show so much. Lots of energy here-- I'd love to see it at Christmas. (And yes, you'll notice that my hair is curly in every picture. New York is WAY too humid for me to even consider straight.)


This is the construction site at Ground Zero. If ever a place had ghosts, I think this is it. So much sadness here-- it weighs you down.



Here's from the bottom of the Empire State Building.
And here's from the top. Well, not really. It's $20 just to go to the 86th floor, but you can pay $15 more to go to the 102nd. No way. Rip off.
This is a cool thing I saw. An old lady couldn't get her shoe tied, so one of the workers offered to tie it for her. The pic is off center because I was trying to be sneaky and get it without being obvious. I'm sneaky that way.


This is Layne's parents on Statue of Liberty Island. Aren't they cute? It was so fun to spend 5 days with them and see how great they treat each other after all these years. Thanks so much for a fun trip!


Here's me with the grand ole' lady. Finally, another woman who's taller than me! :-)


Here's Layne and me on the ferry to Ellis Island-- Manhattan skyline in the background. What the heck do all of those people do in those huge buildings?

Here's a funny thing I saw in Battery Park. How many New Yorkers does it take to cut off a tree branch? Apparently 10.


Here's the Late Show studio. Who knows what's going on inside there?

I want to buy this building.
And live in it.
Here's the inside of the Wicked theater. That show itself is worth the trip to New York. If you ever have a chance to see it, do. I hate the Wizard of Oz, but I see it in a whole different light now.
One of the funny freak things. Some guy was driving around in a high heel shoe. Speaking of high heels, I actually watched some lady get her high heel stuck in the storm grate while crossing the street and her boyfriend had to rescue her. Was it rude to laugh and point?
Here's Layne at the Intrepid Museum. This is the place I would love to have taken my boys. Totally cool and interactive. Someday...

We never made it uptown-- I still can't say I've seen Central Park or the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Guess I'll have to go back. Wonder if I can find the awesome cheesecake place again?

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

From Somewhere Over Michigan

So I am sitting on an airplane, blogging from my iPhone. Here are my brief observations-- as typing is a little difficult right now.

1. Wi-fi on airplanes rules. Big time.
2. Flying coach does not rule. Never fly first class unless you plan on doing only that for the rest of your life.
3. People who recline their seats SUCK! I cannot say that strongly enough. I hope the insensitive shrew in front of me is enjoying the healthy dose of knee-in-the-back that I'm serving up.
4. I really have to pee, but there is 1 hour and 20 minutes left of the flight. I choose to spend them in discomfort rather than using the bathroom on the plane. I hate those things.
5. Should it make me nervous that the guy sitting next to me and the guy in front of Layne are passing notes in Arabic?
6. Reclining Shrew just went into the bathroom to bathe herself in cheap perfume. Thanks for the migraine, Shrew Lady. Seriously Lady-- you REEK!!!
7. Do I really have to keep this seatbelt on? It's putting pressure on a very distressed bladder right now.

In case you're wondering, I am on my way to New York City. I've never been there before-- should be interesting:-)

More later...

45 minutes later.

Math equation:
Full bladder + bumpy flight = ?

Sunday, October 04, 2009

Conference Weekend in Pictures

We've had a great, very family-oriented weekend.

This is Friday night. We decided to go to Lagoon's Frightmares. I don't think that we've ever taken the boys to Lagoon-- we had a blast!

Emalee finally discovered the joy of roller-coasters and other thrill rides this trip. She LOVED Tidal Wave. We went on it probably 10 times in a row. (Side note about Tidal Wave, anyone else remember when you'd ride the Tidal Wave and one side would yell "Tastes Great!" and the other would yell "Less Filling!? Good Times.)




This is about the only ride that Doug would ride. 15 times in one night.



Here's the kids in their "King Benjamin" tent to listen to conference. Quite honestly, between the tent and the activity books (well, and the skittles, Mike & Ikes, and chocolate), so far, the kids have quietly watched all 6 hours of conference. No matter what happens during the last session, I'm calling it a success.

Saturday afternoon, we went for a ride around the loop to Cascade Springs, then up to Midway and back down Provo Canyon. I don't have good words to describe how beautiful the canyon is this year. My pics aren't as good as I would like because it was very overcast, but here they are:











I've felt so blessed during this weekend. So many of the talks have been about obtaining personal revelation. One thing said really struck me-- we receive revelation because we believe in a living Christ, we belong to a living church with a living prophet on the earth. It is amazing and humbling to think-- especially when you consider the majestic works of God-- that He cares enough to hear and answer our individual prayers.
Like I said-- we are so blessed!

Friday, October 02, 2009

Need a Job?

Due to some strange and funny circumstances, we are looking to hire a part time front office person.

I hate hiring people-- it's such a crap shoot.

Not to mention that I hate doing the interviews.

"So. Tell me about yourself."

Yuck.

It's not going well.

The girl yesterday was about 13 years old and had so much perfume on that, not only did it give me a migraine, but it left our office smelling like teen spirit for hours.

No thanks.

How about I hire this girl? This is what she put on her resume under Honors and Awards:
*Homecoming Court (12th grade)
*Prom Princess (11th grade)
*Stake President's Honors Award
*Most Friendly Girl Award
*State Champions Cheer Squad (9th grade)

Hey, Guys! Hire me! I'm your prom queen!

Seriously.

The scary thing is this: We are working with a human resource agency- all of the resumes went to them. They've had over 50 people apply and they sent me the 6 that they thought were the best.

Prom Queen was one of them.

No wonder the unemployment rate is so high...

GC Weekend

Short post today, as I am at work and there are a ton of things that I should be doing.

I've been trying to figure out how to make General Conference special for my kids-- as I kind of remember dreading it when I was little.

Here's my plan:

I'm letting them build a tent out of blankets (with the door facing the t.v. :-) like in the Book of Mormon. I let them each pick out one bag of whatever treat they wanted. (Em picked out Dove chocolate-- that's my girl. Mike picked out a big box of Mike & Ike's- more because they have the same name as him than because they are good. Because they are not. Doug picked out one of those Costco sized bags of Skittles. Go Doug!)

I printed out the packet from here http://deseretbook.com/misc/Conference_Packet09.pdf and I'm going to give them each a new box of crayons to use. The packet has bingo, finger puppets, graphs, etc.

That should last me through the first talk.

What do I do for the next 7 1/2 hours?