Toe Pick!

Last night was free skate night for Barratt Elementary at Classic Skate in Orem. I'm not sure exactly what possessed us, but we packed up the kids and a couple of their friends and went roller skating.

For the first time in probably 20 years.

A little background. My parents were super-cool. We didn't have a ton of money, but they found ways to entertain 5 little girls. (It was either that, or drown in a sea of estrogen.) I remember one day, our mom pulled out 6 pair of brand new roller skates. (Caree was too little.) Knowing my mom, she must have found them for a good deal or something, but either way, we thought they were awesome. Ours were white with red and blue trim and those bearing-wheels that make a cool sound when they spin. There was even a pair for my dad-- black with neon-orange wheels.

I had one of those gold Olympic jackets (think 1984) which I was sure made me skate better. The coolest part was that we cleaned out the entire unfinished basement and made the whole thing into our personal skating rink.

Now we all know that I am the Queen of All Things Ungraceful. I'm afraid that this title applied for roller skating as well. The first night I had my skates on, doing my best Dorothy Hamil in the basement, I started to fall and jabbed my eye on one of those things that stick out of cement basement walls.

Par for my ungraceful course.

I was not deterred, however, and eventually learned to skate-- forward, backward, and around in circles.

Fast forward to last night. Most of the parents sat around watching their kids. Not me-- I rented some stinky, ancient leather roller skates and out I went-- looking to reclaim some of my former grandeur on wheels.

And then I stood up.

And I remembered exactly how it was that I nearly lost my eye the first time I laced up skates. Who invented shoes that could just roll out from under you anyway?




Now, to my credit, I have to say that I didn't actually fall down. Not even once. Amazing feat for me-- I'll chalk it up to all the core strength training I've been doing. (Which is NOT helping me to shed extra pounds-- but that's a gripe for another day.)

I did remember something, though-- roller skating is HARD! It is also pretty good exercise-- as is evidenced by the stiffness I am feeling over pretty much my entire body today.

I tried to teach my daughter and her friend to skate. My teaching consisted of strapping wheels to their feet, gently shoving them onto the floor, then laughing at them as they fell all over themselves like baby giraffes. I know. Mom of the Year for me.


But it back-fired.


We had a blast and we all laughed about our aches and pains on the way home. Em and her friend both complained of sore wrists from falling down. I didn't think much of it.


Until today, when I saw said friend. With a blue cast on her arm.


I broke Em's friend.


Do you send flowers for that?

I'm pretty sure that the last time I tried to teach these same two girls something-- to throw a baseball not-like-a-girl-- this same friend ended up with a goose-egg on her head.

Maybe I'd better keep my teaching to my own kids.

Gotta go now. Anyone know where you can buy a pony and a card that says "Sorry I broke your arm?"