Kim's Rules of Order

I've been in a blog-bog lately. Nothing good to say, so I've kept my keyboard silent.

(Actually, I've been reading. A lot. Like thousands and thousands of pages. I'll post a review soon.)

Anyway, I've been bothered by something recently that I wanted to throw out to the cyber world. It goes like this.

There are unwritten rules of personal and social behavior. I've been noticing too many of them being ignored lately-- so in an attempt to remedy that, I'm WRITING them down.

Thus let it be written, thus let it be done...

1. You should respect and maintain the bubble of personal space for all people around you.

Case in point. My sister and I went to see that vampire movie the other night. (We'll save most of that topic for another post.) There was a 14 year old boy sitting next to my sister. He had come to said vampire movie WITH HIS MOTHER. (We'll also leave that topic for another day.) This kid was obnoxious. He was sprawled all over the place-- feet, legs, hands. He actually PUT UP the arm rest between him and my sister, in order to take more of her space.

Where is the Taser when you need one?

When you are sitting in a seat-- be it a movie theater, stadium, or the back of a car, you should pretend that there are walls in between you and the people next to you and keep all of your crap (arms, legs, feet, coats, stinky breath, etc) confined in that space.

2. You should not stop to chat with people (be they live or on your phone) while you are in a flow of traffic. I'm not just referring to cars-- I'm also talking about the morons who stop their shopping carts right in the middle of the store aisle and just ignore the fact that everyone has to wait or go around them.

3. When sitting in a movie, ballgame, play or restaurant, you should keep your conversation at a decibel that only the people who care have to listen to you talk.

For instance, last night, Layne and I went to a Jazz game. There was a group of people behind us who thought that the whole section would like to hear about their co-worker who got sick and blah, blah, blah. I was really hoping that the Jazz Bear would come and spray them with silly string.

4. Speaking of things that you shouldn't do in movies or theaters, the suggestion to turn off your cell phones during the movie applies to EVERYONE-- not just EVERYONE ELSE. Again with the vampire movie-- the girls in front of us kept taking pictures of the half-naked werewolf boy on the movie screen and texting them to their dumb little friends.

Wish I would have had their cell numbers. I would have gotten up and gone in the hall and texted to them "Turn off your phone, morons." (Did you notice the get up and go in the hall part???)

5. Tied closely to this one, if you bring candy into the theater, open it BEFORE the event starts. The only thing more obnoxious than the guy who rips open his bag of chocolate covered raisins quickly is the guy who is trying to be sneaky about it and takes 15 minutes to get in the bag, thinking that he's being quiet.

Sat by that guy at Wicked. Nearly grabbed his box of Nestle Crunch bites and opened them for him.

6. Flush. Need I say more?

I'm sure there are more, but those are my top pet peeves right now. If you could all please print them and post them on every bathroom stall door that you are unfortunate enough to use, we'd all be better off.

Especially if everyone obeyed #6.