The Elegant Universe

I've never been good in a group.

I'm good one on one, or even one on two. Oddly enough, I have no problem being in front of a large group either. What intimidates the heck out of me is a group of about 4-10. Especially 4-10 other women.

I think I'll chalk it up to a slight attention deficit disorder.

It's the same reason that I don't like to play Phase 10. By the time it's my turn, I've totally lost interest.

In my defense, I do have some pretty interesting stuff kicking around in my head lately. Ever since Layne gave me a Kindle, I've been reading like mad. On my sister's recommendation, I started reading some James Rollins books-- kind of like Dan Brown, but he combines a lot of science in with history and action.

These books triggered a desire to learn more about physics, and, thanks to my magic Kindle (and Layne's Amazon account), Ta-Da! suddenly I'm learning all about quantum theory, relativity and superstring theory.

It reminds me of reading in Portuguese.

Instead of reading 2-3 pages a minute like usual, I am now trying to understand The Elegant Universe by Briane Greene. Luckily, Kindle has a dictionary built in, so when I don't understand a word (such as quixotic, gluon, or tau-neutrino), I just highlight it and presto! Definition at my fingertips.

FYI-- quixotic is a very cool word which means "exceedingly idealistic, unrealistic and impractical." I.e. My plan to lose 25 pounds in 3 months is a quixotic dream.)

Back to the group thing. I found myself sitting around recently with a bunch of 7 or 8 friends. Sometimes there were 2 or 3 conversations going at the same time, and sometimes everyone was talking about the same thing. It was all hard for me to follow.

And then all of the gluons and neutrinos and muons and such started dancing around in my brain and I swear I had an out of body experience. In watching the complex ebbs and flows of the group dynamic, I think I came up with my own Unified Theory of Everything. Well, not of everything. Just of women.

Everyone wanted to be heard. Everyone wanted to be understood. This force, like the strong force that keeps particles united into molecules, kept everyone tied together. Just like with particles, there were also certain emotional forces, not unlike electromagnetism, which repel us from each other and try to push us apart. However, the over-arching, Holy Grail is string theory-- which essentially says that everything is made up of strings-- and the resonant pattern of the string's vibrations determine what it is-- be it part of a bar of gold, part of a brain cell, or part of a supernova star.

In other words, at the core, we are all made of the same stuff-- just vibrating in different frequencies. To simplify even further, we are more alike than we are different.

I don't know why that mattered to me-- but when I re-entered reality and applied the idea to the conversations I heard going on around me-- you know the ones all groups of women will eventually revert to such as child birth, mothers-in-law, and shoe shopping-- I realized that we are all the same.

Our experiences may be different, but at the core, what we really need (if not want) is to feel peace, love and acceptance. Our methods of seeking that nirvana are all different, but somehow sitting around talking about everything and nothing at once validates us all.

To my friends, I hope that me sitting in the corner didn't come off arrogant or like I was mad. I apologize for retreating into my own crazy head-- Little did you know that the conversation you were having was providing me with my own little glimpse of the Elegant Universe.

Of women, that is.