10 Reasons I've Gained 8 Pounds in 3 Weeks.

10. I haven't been to Pilates in 3 weeks. I feel my abs turning to Jello as we speak.

9. Jello. And potato salad. And that green pistachio stuff. All the salads, which I normally never make nor eat contributed to my diet delinquency.

8. Almond Toffee. Lots of it. Dang that sister-in-law!

7. Snowboarding. I know, you'd think that would burn calories, right? Not when I wrenched my knee within my first 30 minutes of trying, which has kept me off my bike trainer for a week. I know, I was only burning 500 calories a day doing it, but when you're eating like you're pregnant with triplets, every 500 calories helps.

6. Hersheys. Kisses, M&Ms, fudge, chocolate chips, Reeses peanut butter cups... they all have their place in my sad story.

5. Christmas punch. Nothing like drinking a full day's worth of calories in a single meal.

4. Christmas Ham. 1000 calories of honey-baked goodness. On a daily basis. (Seriously, when is the ham going to be gone? And does me eating more of it to get it gone faster really do me any good?)

3. Kid's stockings. You'd think I would have been smart like I was for Easter and filled their stockings full of stuff I hate, or at least stuff I can resist. Now they keep wondering why their stash of Christmas candy keeps disappearing. I say nothing. I always taught them not to speak with their mouths full.

2. Neighbors. They all want to see me fat again, I guess, as they keep bringing me tasty temptations and leaving them on my doorstep. One of these days, my REAL friends will bring me some carrot sticks and a rec center class schedule.

1. Cookies. They are everywhere. I haven't had them or made them for months, and now I'm stuffing them in my face like I'm afraid I may never get them again. Enough already. I give up.