An Open Letter to the Brain Surgeons In-Charge of the AFIP (American Fork Irrigation Project)

Dear Sirs,

Wow! I just want to thank you for the excellent job you’ve done of planning and executing the first few months of the AFIP. It is obvious that great thought went into timing the road construction just-so.

For example, starting down 900 East on the day that school started was pure inspiration. Why in the world would we want parents to get used to safely dropping off their children on the first day of school? As they would need to find a different route there every day, it was brilliant to make sure that no one got too comfortable on that first day.

I also want to compliment you on your choice of employees working on this project. Speaking only from my own personal experience, they are truly stellar individuals. I have appreciated every one of the cigarette butts left on my street. Seeing them work has been the picture of efficiency, as often one of them is actually working and the other five are “supervising”. I have truly been pleased to wind my way home and find them parked in front of my driveway blocking access to my home, or smoking under my tree.

My best experience yet happened just yesterday. One crew was busy on the end of my street paving the trench. As I live in a cul-de-sac, my understanding was that they were not supposed to block access completely out of our neighborhood. As these kind gentlemen always follow that rule to the letter, I guess I could have gotten through, had I driven a few feet on my neighbor’s lawn. I chose instead to come through the opening in the gate to the street below.

As soon as I came through, trying to get to the next street to take my son to pre-school, a kind gentleman with impeccable manners told me I couldn’t go that way either. As the other road was blocked, I asked him how he suggested that I proceed. Apparently my tone of voice was not to his liking, and he answered me with some of the most colorful language I’ve heard in a long time. Kudos again on finding some very creative people. Who knew you could use so many four letter words in one sentence?

Thank you also for helping me to see streets and areas of American Fork that I haven’t been down in years. I have had to hone my own creativity in finding my way home, especially when I find that the two major East-West streets are closed at the same time. Way to make us think outside of the box. I love driving extra miles and miles with gas prices so wonderfully low right now.

Really, I don’t know how things could go any better. If we actually felt a sense of correlation and planning behind this nightmare, we might not really appreciate it when it was done. I, for one, applaud the wonderful job you’re doing. Makes me wish I would have voted for the thing!

Sincerely,

Kim Garrett