At Season's End

I've lived in Utah for most of my life, so you'd think that I'd be used to seasonal change. I guess that I am used to it, but it doesn't mean that I have to like it.

I have an odd relationship with change, truth be told. I don't like change, but sometimes I crave it, kind of like a fish sandwich when I'm pregnant.

I find myself on the brink of a lot of change in my life, and I'm not terribly happy about any of it. I've been in such a good place during this summer and fall-- beautiful weather, lots of time on my bike, my husband and kids are great, and I've had different projects and reasons to spend more time than usual with good friends-- it's been about as perfect as a period of a few months can get. And I feel it ending.

We're living on borrowed time with the beautiful weather-- I know this. And, while I appreciate every perfect day I am given, it almost prolongs the agony of the coming winter. I don't like the cold. I don't like the short days and long, dark nights. Only the beauty of the Holiday Season makes it all bearable.

More than the weather, though, is the fact that things are changing in my life. Nothing major, just a bunch of things all at once. Funny how sometimes change comes in a chain reaction, sparked by some small thing that just keeps spinning.

I know that these changes are bringing new opportunities and challenges, and I guess this is that part that I simultaneously crave and dread. When you've had it so good for a while, it's hard to see how change could possibly make anything better. However, better is always a possibility, and change is ever the probability, so I guess it's up to me to buck up and roll with it.

I guess in the end, it's about hope and faith and ultimately acceptance. It's like risking the fish sandwich-- you might puke it up, but then again, it might just hit the spot!