In keeping with my "I want to be a buffalo in my next life theme", I have to tell you something about buffalo-- they can't swim.
Okay. I don't know if real buffalo can swim or not, but I know that I can't. I tried today.
Calli wants me to do a triathlon in March. It's just a sprint one-- 6 laps in the pool, 13 miles on a bike and a 5 k run. I told her I can't swim. She said she'd teach me.
What she didn't understand is that it's not that I don't know HOW to swim, it's that I am incapable of it. You'd think with the spare tire around my middle, I'd be a great swimmer. I am a pretty good floater, come to think of it. My problem is that I can't keep the water out of my nose.
Calli tried to explain how to do it. Then she tried to show me. That made me laugh so hard that I snorted up the water anyway. (By the way, I think I got a chlorine high.) While Calli was busy doing breast stroke laps and freestyle laps, I was doing drunken-dog-get-across-the-pool-any-way-you-can-without-drowning laps. I was panting like a dog. My muscles were on fire. I got red circles around my eyes from the goggles I suctioned onto my face.
It was not a pretty picture. My triathlon dreams may have died today. I told Calli that I'm either going to have to go swimming a lot more and get good at it, or I am never going again. Jury's out on that one. She said get noseplugs.
Now I know how my Padawan cycling buddies felt when they first got on bikes.
By the way, Jamie, way to go at Pilates last night! You feelin' it yet?
Okay. I don't know if real buffalo can swim or not, but I know that I can't. I tried today.
Calli wants me to do a triathlon in March. It's just a sprint one-- 6 laps in the pool, 13 miles on a bike and a 5 k run. I told her I can't swim. She said she'd teach me.
What she didn't understand is that it's not that I don't know HOW to swim, it's that I am incapable of it. You'd think with the spare tire around my middle, I'd be a great swimmer. I am a pretty good floater, come to think of it. My problem is that I can't keep the water out of my nose.
Calli tried to explain how to do it. Then she tried to show me. That made me laugh so hard that I snorted up the water anyway. (By the way, I think I got a chlorine high.) While Calli was busy doing breast stroke laps and freestyle laps, I was doing drunken-dog-get-across-the-pool-any-way-you-can-without-drowning laps. I was panting like a dog. My muscles were on fire. I got red circles around my eyes from the goggles I suctioned onto my face.
It was not a pretty picture. My triathlon dreams may have died today. I told Calli that I'm either going to have to go swimming a lot more and get good at it, or I am never going again. Jury's out on that one. She said get noseplugs.
Now I know how my Padawan cycling buddies felt when they first got on bikes.
By the way, Jamie, way to go at Pilates last night! You feelin' it yet?
4 comments:
Funny!
And I totally get it.
Is it genetics?
My friends have been trying to get me to do that triathalon thing too, since I am a runner <---HA!
But I can't swim either. And really, compared to your standands, I am not great on a bike either. I can't get over the seat wedgies I get with bikes.
Kim-- I wish I could of been there to see that, then again may be not-- I would have drowned! Seriously-- keep at it-- it will come! I think you'd do great a triathalon!
by the way-- great pics!
I think you need a different teacher. You are a good faker sorry I don't know how to spell that word. I was rather impressed with your skills and your willingness to drink that much pool water.
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